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Now he was certain he was getting in too deep. This closeness... he could get used to this closeness. It was warm, familiar and the best he could offer at this moment. He kept that arm around his shoulders, his hand sliding down to lightly stroke Watanuki's own a moment. If Ronald was asked, the excuse he would have give was 'he looked like he needed it'. But was that really an excuse?

"M'glad you're alright too." he finally sighed. "All that mattered was getting your arse out of there before the blight did you in."

Again, another light nuzzle of his cheek and a click of his tongue. "You've to stop running about and sticking your neck out when you oughtn't. Least not til you've learned proper defense. You're helpless out there."

"Before I came here... I never had to fight anything before." Well, he'd had a bit of a confrontation once, but for the most part, combat was completely foreign to him. "...I...

"I know I was helpless, but... I can't just sit still... and I can't stand by while something is happening... not if I might be able to help... even a little."

He closed his eyes at the nuzzling. He... he really liked it...

"Were--" The was some hesitance. "...Were you... really worried about me?"

The reaper pulled his arm away just so he could straighten up and look Watanuki in the eye. His brow was furrowed, a mixture of worry and disbelief in his eyes. "Course I was ruddy well worried!" he replied, gripping his hand before letting out a breath. "If you di--"

And then it hit him.

The weight of a life -- it was the lesson all reapers were taught before they left training. The weight of a life was a lesson they had to learn since they'd taken the weight of theirs lightly. It wasn't a lesson Ronald took too seriously. But after that school and this encounter, he had started to understand just what exactly it meant. The weight of a life and the loss of it was heavier than he ever thought. With that realization in his mind, he shut his eyes, his arm hugging Watanuki tightly.

"Dunno what I would've done if you died..." he finally said, a soft choke finally coming from his throat.

Edited 2016-11-11 03:29 (UTC)

'Dunno what I would have done if you died...'

If anyone had ever felt that way about him before... they had never said it. So when Ron did, he felt his heart pound so hard and heavy in his chest he was surprised that he didn't get dizzy. He... he...!

He threw his arms around his neck, and he didn't stop himself--his lips crashed right into Ron's.

Even before Ronald could react, even before he could let a tear slip past they were kissing again. And this one was harder, eager. The reaper shut his eyes tightly, hugging him to his chest as he pulled him close, welcoming it. If he was wrong, if this was wrong then let him be wrong.

His heart was racing, hand near trembling as he deepened it. The weight of a life was a dangerous thing. The weight of this life was heavy against his heart. As much as there was something left of him with Watanuki, so had the other left a little something of himself with death. He couldn't help but let that tear slip and it rolled hot against his cheek. Not this life. No one would ever take the weight of this life from him.

He pulled his lips away once the kiss had tapered off. He turned his head, burying it into Ron's neck. His hands pet the other's hair as he remained close, hugging him. He...

He felt something, odd in his chest, warm and fuzzy. He nuzzled into Ron's neck. This person made him feel... in a way he never really had before. He had thought his heart had pounded when he saw Himawari, but it was nothing like this, not even close. This was a different feeling; something more profound and mature and... and... sensual even, and the thought had him hugging the man's shoulders a touch tighter.

"I don't... think I would've been able to lose you, either."

Ronald's head lowered slightly, forehead touching the other god's as he watched him. He locked his gold rimmed eyes with Watanuki's mismatched own as his hand moved to grasp his again. Surely, a little intimacy was fine, wasn't it? They could have this?

Whatever this is.

"The buggering hell'm I going to do to you..." he whispered, fingertips tracing the other god's jaw as he leaned to brush their lips together. "M'not sure where to begin with what you've ruddy well done to me."

His heart was in his throat. He couldn't properly respond. He just made a little humming noise and closed his eyes, parting his lips a little to let Ron had whatever way he might with them.

Ronald certainly couldn't stop. These kisses were addicting. How they made his heart race, why he suddenly felt a nervous little knot in his stomach... he should be used to this. Courting, seducing, stealing hearts... so why did he feel so nervous? Like something he said or did could make it go all wrong?

But he leaned in, taking another kiss and another and one more even though he knew he shouldn't. His hold remained tight around Watanuki, as if his relief and need to see him safe was all he wanted.

Again. he realized they shouldn't be doing this, but here he was, they were. And those gentle, small kisses left the over and over, his eyes closed and breathing soft.

But eventually, his eyes opened him, awakening him from the dream, and... he realized he had no idea what was going on. Why were they kissing, again? Hadn't they... already established they weren't going to do that anymore?

"...Ron-san..." He murmured faintly.

The reaper refused to break away, eyes closing as they broke the kiss. He let out a breath, his forehead pressed against the other god's as his fingers remained tracing his cheek, his jawline, the back of his neck. But he remained in silence, a guilty sort of silence. His hand slid back, his head still lowered. He shouldn't. They weren't supposed to carry on like this. He was mercilessly leading mercy on.

Was he though? His heart leapt at the thought that he wasn't really leading him on. That there was something there, something neither of them wanted to put a name to.

"M'sorry, Kimihiro." He whispered and leaned in again, taking another kiss. Was he apologizing for the kiss? For wanting another? For the fact he didn't want to be with anyone else? Or the fact that he doomed them both?

There was that kiss, another one, another one--it was as if he was addicted and didn't want him to stop. They felt wonderful, and coupled with his name, his cheeks were flushed and his heart was out of control.

"I..." He was about to apologize too, but he didn't know for what, so he didn't, letting the words die in his throat. He licked his lips a little, and he could taste the other on them.

"...Please..." He didn't know if he wanted to ask him to continue or to stop. He hoped Ron knew. He hoped the other could make the right decision for him.

That singular word almost undid Ronald. It would be so easy, after all. They were already in a rather compromising position. Alone. Watanuki had been responsive to those stolen kisses after all. Surely they could take it a step fur-

No. No, not like this. Not here, not now. Not when everything was up in the air and nothing was certain. What if things went south somehow? He understood the heat of the moment and this most certainly was it.

But surely, just a small taste.

So he leaned in, kissing once at the curve of his neck then at his pulse before drawing away. There was a shake of his head even as he placed his hand over Watanuki's own. "Should prolly quit while I'm ahead, sweetheart..." he whispered. "Wouldn't want to do anything you'd regret, eh?"

His mismatched eyes looked over Ron's face. There was a slow nod in agreement.

"Mm--" A pause. "...Mm-hm..." And again, nodding, unsure what else to say. He was busy trying to sort out what all of this meant. He looked down at the plate of food that had been shoved off the side and almost tilted over, abandoned from their kissing. He glimpsed up at Ron.

"...Are..." Slowly, trying to come back to normalcy. "A...re you feeling... better?"

"A bit, yeah." Ronald murmured back as he reached over to straighten the plate. His body seemed alright. The fatigue had finally ebbed down and he was certain that if he tried, he'd be able to send himself home.

But something else ached right in his chest.

"Dunno what came over me then." he finally sighed, straightening up and looking at his hand that rested slack against his knee. "Can't seem to help myself when I'm with you."

He straightened up as well. There was a heavy flush on his face. "I...

"...It was my fault as well," He murmured. He fidgeted, playing with his slender fingers. "I--

"Your laundry..." He murmured. Any reason to excuse himself, and he was off, hurrying outside of the room.

Damn. Damn, he'd fucked up. He'd fucked up by kissing him the first time under that tree. Fucked up by kissing him again after that. Fucked up more by letting that happen. His hand instinctively clutched at his chest, as if the weight of that life was what made it heavy.

This realization had him slumped back against the pillows a moment. He was in too deep -- and the sad part was he liked it. His arm came over his eyes with a heavy sigh.

"S'not your fault." he called, letting out a breath and not quite caring if Watanuki could hear him. It needed to be said. Maybe he could lie here a moment more. Just a bit to think things over.

He was gone for another stint of time, before returning with Ron's clothing, neatly pressed and folded. He set them down on the bed, before glancing down to the ripped and soaking yukata off to the side. He let out a heavy sigh.

"I'll have to buy a new yukata and a phone for Jade," He stated, crossing his arms. Watanuki let out another sigh. "...And...

"...And I'll have to do what I can to not be as helpless," He added. "I...

"I will see if there is anyone who can help me."

Ronald had managed to nibble the rest of his way through the meal by the time Watanuki returned. He glanced at him with the smallest smile, sitting up as his clothes were set down. "Said I'd take care of his phone. Was my reason he'd used it in the first place." He replied, getting up and placing a hand on his shirt with a small frown.

"I'd teach you meself but whatever I can doesn't do any bleeding good with Jade's form." The reaper mused quietly. "There's poll a war god or summat out there that could though?"

A beat as he let out a breath. "...Though... wouldn't suppose you could... prolly help me get me shirt on at least?"

"I think I know someone who can help." There was a pause, but then Watanuki nodded his head.

"I'll help," He stated, before picking the shirt up and gently flicking it open with deft movements. The faint scent of lavender and vanilla rolled through the warm air the shirt produced. The young god moved over, lifting Ronald's arm, moving him into the shirt. "Stay still."

He pulled the shirt on him, straightening up the collar, laying it flat. He bent over, his yukata falling open, showing off the line of skin from his neck almost all the way to his stomach. His brows were furrowed as he worked the buttons, delicately, one at a time with practiced ease.

The reaper stayed still, glancing aside slightly. Part of him hated the fact he had to get someone else to do this for him but what could he do? But his gaze did guiltily flick over. He did have to admit, this god made for some pretty good eye candy.

"All this time and I still haven't gotten used to doing them up meself." He chuckled reaching for his pants. At least those, he could manage to pull on himself. The buttons took too much time with one hand.

"...Before I leave...." He continued. "There's prolly one last thing I'd have to bring up."

"I don't imagine it would be easy even after a long period of time," Watanuki reassured. He didn't mind helping. But, when Ronald mentioned he had one last thing to mention...

It was obvious he was now on edge. His posture became even more erect than usual, and he was noticeably fighting to not shuffle in place. Instead, his fingers clasped in front of him, lacing and unlacing, fidgeting, twitching, tapping--

"...Yes?" He finally inquired.

The reaper bit his lip as he stood up, straightening his clothes. He approached the other god with a sigh before leaning in to kiss the corner of his lips.

"I..." He began, but let out a breath. "Blimey, I don't know where to begin..."

Again, a shake of his head. "M'not sure what to make of us now, to be honest." He continued, but he did offer a smile. "But... I know I'm prolly going to come looking for you if I never hear from you again, mind. You're dangerous... and I think I fancy that."

"D-DANGEROUS?!" He exclaimed, and his face flashed red. He waved his hands a bit, "What kind of word is--I am not!

"But I'll try not to be a stranger--but, but!

"Go home you weirdo!"

There was a chuckle as he leaned in to kiss his cheek. "You're dangerous with how you're prolly set to steal something I'd willingly give." The reaper grinned back.

But he was being scolded again. That only meant Watanuki was feeling better. "Right. I'll be on my way then. Thank you for the nosh, love." He nodded back.

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